Today marks the first day of October and Day 1 of my journey
to 4000 miles. Every year on this day,
Ruben’s ritual was to listen to U2’s October album in its entirety. His appreciation for music was a beautiful
thing. Watching him with his eyes
closed, head tilted back, breathing it in with every fiber of his being… it was
such a gift to those who had the pleasure of witnessing.
Ruben was an observer.
He noticed everything around him and often found meaning and depth in
details that would be easily overlooked by most. One example in particular comes to mind - one
that I also associate with the beginning of fall. For as much as he loved driving, there was at
least one circumstance that I’m aware of when he enjoyed being the passenger
even more than being the one behind the wheel.
“Wait, can you slow down as we drive through this section of
the road?” he once asked. I did as he
requested and looked over to see him with his eyes closed, seat tilted back, a
smile of content from ear to ear. Of
course I was wondering why on earth he would want to me to slow down if he
wasn’t even looking out the window. He
explained before I could ask, “when a street is lined with trees on both sides
like this and the sun is shining down… I love the way the sunlight flickers
through the leaves and branches. You
have to close your eyes to really experience it fully. It’s more about sensing it than actually seeing
it as the light dances on your eyelids, you know? You can actually feel it.”
As with so many similar occasions, I might have thought he
was a little crazy at the time. But the
next time I was in the passenger seat on a similar road (and every time since)
I tried to experience it the way Ruben would have. And I got it.
I saw the beauty. The simple
pleasure. I attempted to let it in, even if
only for a moment.
Lyrics from Rejoice on the October album that spoke to me
tonight:
I
can’t change the world,
But I can change the world in me
If I rejoice
Today I can be the person who tunes in, who notices and
appreciates those special moments. The
world around me is likely the same, but I can choose to view it through a
different lens. If I rejoice. Rejoice in the beauty all around me. Rejoice in gifts like this, given to me by
Ruben while he was here, but that will be with me always.
As always, you can learn more about my 4,000 mile journey to fight cancer here.
As always, you can learn more about my 4,000 mile journey to fight cancer here.
Amazing post. Ruben was a gift to all of us because he showed us how to appreciate life in a way you wouldn't have thought of yourself first. You once said you enjoyed hearing Ruben stories and your post reminded me of the time Ruben bought a new white Acura sports car (manual). It was a beauty and he was very excited about it. We must have been grabbing a drink to catch up and I mentioned to him how much I love driving a manual car...next thing you know, he has me behind the wheel and purposely driving up to a scenic drive with windy roads. He kept telling me to "go faster, go faster!" (can't you just hear him exclaiming this with such excitement?!) and I was a little freaked out because this wasn't my car, but there was something about that moment - it was a Ruben moment - where you just go with it. You just enjoy the ride, and we did. I'm so glad to be reminded of that fun moment and the care-free perspective he showed me through his own way of being.
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